Dude, I'm Irish - and stop trying to steal my rental!

Well this was one of those weekends I needed the entire week to figure out (since I was averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night). My cousin got married this past Saturday - I was the best man. Now, I could turn this entry into a very negative account of events that occurred up to the event, or I could concentrate on the ridiculous events that happen the weekend of. Not sure if family reads this so I'll stick to the stuff that happened directly to me.

So it was a monsoon season apparently in the Annapolis area. Introduce a shit load of rain into an area that has been bone dry for weeks and you get flood issues. Thank god my rental was an AWD Saturn VUE, or so I thought. To save on money I stayed with friends locally (thank you very much). They live in PG County. THAT NIGHT over conversation it was mentioned "man, they just released a stat that PG County averages 40+/- car thefts a day!" So I think "wow, I should own a chop shop in PG County."

After the rehearsal dinner at a bohemian restaurant in the sticks I get back to my friends house, grab a drink and pass out on the couch in the basement. At 6:30am I am awoken by the familiar sound of a distant car alarm...that can't be MY rental car alarm...fuck, it is, isn't it? So I walk upstairs, walk out in the storm, and see my rental blinking and honking. I hit the button to stop it. Walk around the vehicle, check out the interior, nothing. Now, for those that don't believe it was an attempted jacking, there was NO lightning and NO tree branches.

**When you are out of town without your wife and two small children there are certain cardinal rules that are put into place (1) ALWAYS have your wedding ring (forgot mine because I was working out the night before - I swear, seriously) (2) ALWAYS drink more since you don't have a disappointed finger shaking at you when you return home (3) ALWAYS sleep LATE, since for the past 6 years you don't even know what sleep means**

So I'm awake now. I got about the day. Hang with my cousin who wanted to spend the day at the Scottish Festival in our KILTS (oh yes, I had to wear a kilt tux for the wedding - which I looked cool in, pictures later), but thanks to the rain that was out. Went to the wedding, had a lovely time. Gave a nice speech. Hung out with some cousins. Sent the groom off to a good start) All around good time.

I have an early ass flight Sunday AM, and I get back to where I'm staying by around 1:30am. I crawl downstairs, turn off the lights and make sure to set my alarm on my cell phone. At 2:15am what do you think happens? Come-on kids, if you've gotten this far I'm sure you can figure it out?? The FUCKING alarm goes off on my rental AGAIN! I go outside ready to draw blood. No one around, nothing wrong, I missed them. I guess they really wanted that Saturn. So instead of going back in and waiting by the window I drive around Silver Spring a bit, then drop the car off 6 HOURS EARLY and spend the rest of the time at BWI.

Lesson learned - pony up for the hotel and make SURE to rent a Vibe next time (who the hell wants one of those anyway).